Irwin Stelzer with a thankful nod to Clement Clark Moore

“Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the Fed,
Governors were praying that inflation is dead.
Economists were nestled all snug in the beds,
While visions of soft landings danced in their heads.

In the Treasury millions of stockings were hung with care,
With Janet Yellen wondering whether she dare
Run her money presses without pause,
As if she were Santa Claus.

More rapid than unsold EVs the pollsters they came,
Biden heard from them news from the states, they called them by name,
Now Arizona, now Wisconsin, now Georgia, now
Wisconsin, now Nevada, now North Carolina were lost, and he paled,
While Trump sat in Mar-a-Lago hoping not to be jailed.

Early-to-bed Biden was in full snore
When he heard a knock on his door
From his basement he did quickly climb
To double lock the door lest it be Father Time.

Who moved on to the Kamala Harris, she all a’giggle,
Out of a recent mis-speak she did wriggle,
From Father Time she had nothing to dread,
Her reputation had long since been dead,
She had just settled her brains for a long winter’s nap,
In the hope that if ever called upon they would be on tap.

In a twinkling there was heard on the roof,
The pawing and prancing of cabinet hoof,
It was Alejandro Mayorkas from blame aloof,
As through the border poured one and all,
In the absence of Donald Trump’s wall.

To Israel and Ukraine and their wars he came,
With tales more than a bit lame,
Lloyd Austin looked like a pedlar opening his pack,
But ammo and the weapons of war he did lack,
He did exclaim as he flew out of sight,
Worry not, right makes might.

Jamie Dimon spoke not a word but went straight to his work
He said come to the office or I will think you a jerk,
When what to my wandering eye did appear,
Rival executives working with Dimon oh so near.
A new building for 14,000 has Jamie’s eye,
To work from home was to watch your career die.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In the hope that new benefits would soon be there,
When the children examined their stocking
They found a note that was shocking,
Instead of the toys they felt was their due
They found each stocking stuffed with an IOU.
The government had no cash with which to buy toys
But planned to print money to give to the girls and boys.

The President prefers ink that is red,
And so, as he crawled into his bed
He let out a great Santa-like Ho Ho,
Unworried by the new trillions his country did owe.